This past Sunday I took my son to go see Twenty One Pilots perform in Sacramento. It had been my husband’s idea to take him because our son loves their music and sings along to most songs from their Blurryface album. Shortly after I bought the tickets my husband was diagnosed with leukemia and 5 short months later we lost him. He was an amazing person and trying to pick up pieces after losing him has been near to impossible. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get through the concert, but our son was so excited and I needed to try.
We arrived at the concert just as the opening act was finishing up and I wondered if I was being a bad mom taking my young son to a concert. I worry a lot about being a bad mom now that I don’t have a partner to talk things through with. My son was nervous and unsure about the ear plugs I put in his ear, but he said he was excited. As the lights dropped I stood up with the rest of the crowd and picked up my son so he could see the stage over the people standing in front of us. From then on it was just dancing, singing along and having an amazing time. This was my second Twenty One Pilots concert. We were supposed to go again last summer, but the concert was the week after my husband was diagnosed and we were at the hospital together. I knew I could expect a thoroughly entertaining night that wasn’t inappropriate for my son, but could at times be overwhelming. What I found was that for him seeing his favorite band perform the songs he loves live was nothing short of magic. I forgot for a short amount of time how much I was hurting and I just had fun with my son. It was nothing short of amazing.
When my husband first past away I remember thinking ‘how will I ever enjoy anything again.’ We were best friends and everything I like to do was always more fun when he came along. We loved seeing movies together, had similar senses of humor and overall just liked being around each other. He wasn’t there that night and while I felt it, especially during their rendition of Cancer, I was so surprised that I still had fun. I realized that night that I did lose my best friend, but I was reminded that he left me two amazing children that are so much of him that I see little bits of him all the time. I won’t have the same fun I did doing everything with my husband, but I will have a different kind of fun with my kids.
Twenty One Pilots puts on an incredible show that never stops building until they proclaim at the edge of the stage that they are Twenty One Pilots and so are all of the people there in the crowd. For a four year old the show is filled with magic. For a grieving widow the show was filled hope.