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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

At the bereaved spouses support group meeting a couple of weeks ago, we were asked "What are you tired of?" Many of us had similar replies, but here is my personal list.

I am tired of being alone.

I am tired of the loneliness.

I am tired of the emptiness.

I am tired of feeling adrift, confused, and lost.

I am tired of being avoided.

I am tired of those looks of pity.

I am tired of feeling so badly.

I am tired of so much sadness and sorrow.

I am tired of limping through life.

I am tired of not feeling allive.

I am tired of feeling like an OUTCAST.

I am tired of the burden of single parenthood.

I am tired of the helplessness I feel to ease my fatherless son's pain.

I am tired of having to make all of the decisions.

I am tired of having to handle EVERYTHING.

I am tired of not having my other half to talk things over with.

I am tired of missing all that he was to me.

I am tired of the advice that I won't use.

I am tired of the insensitive comments.

I am tired of being told what I SHOULD do.

I am tired of requests for handouts.

I am tired of being asked about life insurance.

I am tired of the endless paperwork.

I am tired of lawyers, accountants, and account service representatives.

I am tired of the junk mail with my dearly departed's name on it.

I am tired of people acting differently towards me.

I am tired of people treating me differently.

I am tired of long, lonely weekends.

I am tired of the emptiness of  his side of the bed.

I am tired of the extra space in the closet.

I am tired of the word "widow" and all that it implies.

I am tired from the hard work of grieving.

I am tired of those who refuse to speak of him.

I am tired of those who won't say his name.

I am tired of feeling tired..


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Comment by Joyce on May 15, 2012 at 9:27am

AMEN!!! Thanks for this.

Comment by rodsgurl09 on May 15, 2012 at 8:51am

Agreed, on all of the above. (((hugs)))

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on May 15, 2012 at 4:41am

Your list covers it all, Mariposa - thank you.  As you walk further down this road, some of those "I am tireds" will ease ... and yet some, unfortunately, will remain.  Take it one day at a time.

Comment by jean on May 15, 2012 at 1:29am
Me too. Me too.
Comment by Suz on May 14, 2012 at 11:55pm

Oh, me, too. What a great job! You hit everything that is making me so, so weary. I never had a clue that I would have to deal with all of these "tireds."

Fondly,

Suz

Comment by Kerryn on May 14, 2012 at 5:14pm

You hit every single thing 100%  Thank you for putting words to my "tireds".

Comment by magonly1 on May 14, 2012 at 4:12pm

I couldn't have said it better.

Comment by Donna on May 14, 2012 at 3:21pm

I agree 100 %%

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