Update on the Celebration that I planned for Wes . It was done last Monday 16th. It started at 10am. There were 9 of us - one forgot the date, and my Lady Chaplain was so busy she could not get away from work. However, she spent a long time on the phone the next day as she wanted to know how it went. She decided to journey with me when I was in hospital. What I did notice about the Celebration was that it gave people a totally different perspective about Wes. I also realised that people think that Widows have "enhanced memories" about their beloved. What I call(WEM.) I think WEM IS ANOTHER WAY OF 'beating us up". We are telling the truth - we are not putting them on a pedestal. We realise what we have really lost.
Many of them had only met Wes when he was ill. One lady realised that she had seen Wes as fragile and vulnerable
but had not realised how strong and capable he really was before he got sick. Another lady told me it had strengthened
her faith. Originally, I had hoped (when it was to be in the church) that friends and family would be able to come - as many of them did not know a lot about Wes. When it was cancelled others told me I could hold it in a Cafe!! I wanted to have music and had to find all the CD's for the songs which took a long time. Somehow I managed to overcome my weariness and lethargy to accomplish this and honour my beloved.
This is what we did:
Upon arrival everyone was given an outline of the day and the Eulogy from the funeral, plus information about the wedding vows and the new Covenant we had made at our wedding anniversary in September 2012.
(all the songs that I chose were relevant to Wes and I explained what they meant.) I have been singing in a choir with a friend of mine (JB) and she agreed to come along.
1.Played the hymn Jerusalem sung by Harry Secombe.
2. Said the Lords Prayer (New Living Translation) a more modern version
3. Sang Annie's song which was a favourite of Wes. (J B and I sang it together)
4. I sang La Prima Vez in Spanish -a Sephardic Jewish love song
5. Sunrise Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof ( J B and I took turns in singing the verses, as it is a conversation between 2 people.)
6. All for Love (which I sang)
7. If we never meet again this side of Heaven (which I sang) A poignant song which was meaningful
for his passing away. Words from this were the last I spoke to him.
8.My matron of honour and long time friend spoke about the many things Wes did, including teaching, running a business and being an entrepreneur. Also how people were drawn to him.
9. We then had a large morning tea and a lot of conversation between each other. All attendees had lost someone dear to them, but mainly their husbands.
10. Then we went into the lounge where there was a large display of framed photos and a huge gold hand painted box
( gift I gave him when we first met) full of Love letters, anniversary, birthday and other cards. . A couple of these were read to show Wes' loving nature.
11. Showed pieces of our Wedding DVD - Wes looked very happy, healthy and excited about it all.
12. Showed a short DVD of Wes when he was ill but still able to dance and show a fun sense of humour.
13. A violinist played music over some people and was filled with the Holy Spirit. She also was anointed
with special words for Me and someone else.
14. Showed a DVD of an interview with a Pastor who had been taken to heaven.
I could not have achieved all this in a Cafe setting. Let alone the noise that occurs. But also could not have coped with a large mass of people at home. Two people told me Wes would be present.
Much later in the evening I sat down for a while and heard him say " What a day. I was amazed at how much you did for me and the singing was beautiful. I asked him why was he amazed? He said :The beauty, the variety, the singing of the Spanish song and the one All for Love. I just feel so humbled that you did it. You did not need to, but you did it just for me. I loved the card you read "you are all I ever wanted" and were bold enough to read it out loud. It is still true. "