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well its been around 20 mos. A lot of days i go w/out thinking about my husband or the sadness or i'll just think about him and i won't be hurt by it, but tonight i'm feeling really sad and really scared. I saw a friend of mine who had quit being friends shortly after my husband passed and just recently re-entered my life. He found out he had cancer the week he quit talking to me. Tonight he helped me out of a jam by picking me up from the bar and we went to eat. Frankie,my husband, meant a lot to him and his death has hit him hard. when i walked across the parking lot w/him i just got so sad, like a wave all over my body and it was an icky, terribly sad feeling. i used to have it a lot before i met my husband, and it wasn't until  after we had been together a little while that that kind of sadness disappeared. My husband and i were brought together by God i believe and he saved us both.i miss him and i need him. my son has been grieving him, which i think is good b/c he doesn't show a lot of emotion for a long time-but i did find out my son has been sad a long time, which gets me in the gut. i was very sad growing up so i know what sadness is. Seeing my friend tonight kindof brought everything back. He's going to die. He doesn't know how much longer he will live but its a rare incurable kind of cancer. He talks about it. i think it just hit me and it reminds me of my husband. why does life have to be so hard?

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Comment by Callie2 on January 11, 2016 at 3:16pm
Sorry for your loss littlelamb. You are still grieving your loss and it is understandable how this friend's news upset you and brought back all these feelings once again. How could it not? It's very hard to prepare ourselves for situations like this, especially when you have not yet regained your own strength. My husband had an expression he used to use when someone needed more help than he could offer,"Throw them a life-preserver but never allow them to pull you under". In other words, only give what you are able. There are sometimes less obvious triggers that take us back but dealing with the death of someone close can hit us particularly hard. I send to you this virtual hug...
Comment by Jess on January 8, 2016 at 4:52am

That is a question I ask myself every day since my husband went to the Lord 3 months ago.  I expect to experience moments in my life where events, people, situations, will remind me of my husband.  I wish we could take the pain away from each other but we are here, talking and sharing.  I pray for your friend, I am sure he re-entered your life for a reason even if you do not know that reason yet.  I also pray that your son finds the help that he needs, I scheduled my 9 year old for counseling and it went well.  My 18 year old is having a difficult time now and I am not giving her much of a choice for counseling.  Frankie is still loving you, you will be joined again some day.

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