Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation



                                                                picture from here

.... on now long Jim will remain on so many mailing lists?

Because .... really?!  It's been 4 years.  Well, Three years and 11 months, but who's counting?  Besides me?

I don't think there's a day that goes by without getting something in the mail that's addressed to him.  And mostly, it's just junk mail.
And I get that.
I really do.
Because junk mail is just stupid, in and of itself.
So I don't expect anything different from that crap.

But this year .... just a couple of weeks ago .... I received something in the mail that shocked me.  Really.
It took my breath away.

It was from Jim's attorney's office.  Not our personal attorney, but from a rather large firm in Houston which handled a case for him .... for us (after a horrific accident in 2001 when a gun blew up in his face while he was target shooting).  They worked with Jim, with us, for quite a few years before we settled the case ... not too long before he died, ironically.
A large, well-known firm.  A firm that's done a lot of work for other partners in Jim's firm.  A law firm that does a lot of "big" work.  A law firm that should know better.
A law firm that knows he's dead.
And has known that he's been dead for almost 4 years.

And yet .... they sent him an invitation to their annual Christmas/Holiday party.
Yes.
They.
Did.

Not a small get-together.
But a large, well-known annual affair.
Really?
Yep.  Really.

I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.
I wanted to march into the house, pick up the phone, dial their number and ask the first person who answered, "Are you freakin' kidding me??!!"
Four years.
Plenty of time to take the man's name off of the mailing list, don't you think?
Four years.
Do they think he's going to become more alive as each year passes?
Is there something they know that I don't?
Is he hanging out with Elvis somewhere, eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches?
Somehow, I don't think so.

Funny.  I still have the jury summons that he received 2 years after he died.
I was hoping they'd put out a warrant for his arrest after he failed to show for that.
Alas, they did not.

The failure of the government to keep up with the status of its citizens .... alive and/or dead?
I get that.
It happens.
We all know the government and what it's capable .... and incapable .... of doing.

But actual men and women whom I've met?  With whom I've spent hours working?  Not to mention the days upon days that Jim worked with them.
People who have real faces and real names .... which I know?

It's funny .... just when I think I've got this "widow thing" down .... when I think I've seen it all and there's no more to be seen ..... there suddenly is.
There should be a statute of limitations.
On how long dead people can receive mail.
And on how long some people can be stupid.

Views: 50

Comment

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 4, 2011 at 11:05am

I agree, Janine. And I think you've hit on the issue (and one of my biggest pet peeves). It's not the business or the government - it's the PEOPLE out there who no longer want to take time to notice the 'little' things they see as being unimportant or not worth their time.  The list was probably prepared by an intern sitting in a tiny cubicle ... who felt they had been giving a boring task, something not worthy of their full attention because it wasn't going to help them move up that ladder.  And someone else in that firm should have reviewed the invite list ... but they probably felt they had more important things to do, thinking what difference would it make if someone received an invitation that shouldn't have?  It made a big difference to YOU.

Checks and double-checks used to be the norm because people cared - truly cared - about the work they did and how those receiving the results of their work would feel. It's gone in many places and it's one more thing to add to my list of losses. We need to start SEEING people again ... really seeing them ... live the Golden Rule ... so these boring tasks would take on a new important meaning.

Yeah, I can be rather pollyannaish ... I'd rather not give up all hope on humanity just yet.

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

HOT TOPICS!

dating
financial
friendships
memorials
parenting
pets
parenting
psychics
PTSD
recipes

Use TAGS on blog posts, photos, and when starting discussion topics. They keep content together and are a fun way to browse the site!

Most active members this week (not including Chat) * NEW *  

© 2013   Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service