Thirteen months ago I began this journey that I did not ask for, did not want. I do not know where it will take me but I hold hope in my heart that one fine day I will feel joy again.
It has been so long that I have forgotten what it feels like when your whole being just smiles. I do not think I will ever feel that again but I will settle for joy in seeing a sunrise or sunset. Right now I do not feel anything except sorrow.
I love being outdoors and walk a lot. When I do walk I find myself looking for him. I lift my face to the sun and pretend it's his warmth touching me. I miss my husband with a desperation that scares me.
Praying for each one of us.