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I swam laps in the pool early this evening.........hard laps. Angry laps, then sad laps. It all ended in tears. At least I got some exercise!
Lately, days with Patrick's children end in tears because I'm really sad and angry that he's missing them. He's missing the delight that I'm experiencing with his children. It's getting to me. Patrick couldn't believe that he was having a girl and today, with Reese, all I could think of is Patrick laughing while her and I paint each others finger nails. She would say the darndest girl things and I wish that I could share it with Patrick. She loves to sing and dance and Patrick would be saying, "oh my gosh, can you believe her?"
The whole time that I swam, Patrick's dog, Duke, was barking and whining, even jumping in the pool at times trying to save me, it seemed. When I finished and was sitting on a patio chair in tears Duke seemed to put his head in my lap to console me saying, "it's okay." As I sat there in a heap, I noticed two birds fly low over the pool together chirping in delight. I was reminded that Bill and Patrick are in heaven rejoicing, having a great time, enjoying the presence of the Lord. "Don't be so sad" the birds seemed to say.
.........okay, I'll try.
princess dress, princess sunglasses, princess fingernails......she's a princess!