A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
laps
I swam laps in the pool early this evening.........hard laps. Angry laps, then sad laps. It all ended in tears. At least I got some exercise!
Lately, days with Patrick's children end in tears because I'm really sad and angry that he's missing them. He's missing the delight that I'm experiencing with his children. It's getting to me. Patrick couldn't believe that he was having a girl and today, with Reese, all I could think of is Patrick laughing while her and I paint each others finger nails. She would say the darndest girl things and I wish that I could share it with Patrick. She loves to sing and dance and Patrick would be saying, "oh my gosh, can you believe her?"
The whole time that I swam, Patrick's dog, Duke, was barking and whining, even jumping in the pool at times trying to save me, it seemed. When I finished and was sitting on a patio chair in tears Duke seemed to put his head in my lap to console me saying, "it's okay." As I sat there in a heap, I noticed two birds fly low over the pool together chirping in delight. I was reminded that Bill and Patrick are in heaven rejoicing, having a great time, enjoying the presence of the Lord. "Don't be so sad" the birds seemed to say.
.........okay, I'll try.
|
||||||
princess dress, princess sunglasses, princess fingernails......she's a princess!
|
Views: 61
Comment
-
Comment by SheriAnne on July 28, 2012 at 11:26am -
Debi I am just so sorry for your terrible loss. I too try to remind myself that my husband is in heaven and I am the only one who is sad or angry-sometimes it helps. After reading your blog I realized I sort of "know" you in a round--about, online way. My good friend is friends with your daughter-in-law, E. in 2006 we were all on the website The Knot planning our weddings. And my husband and I were even in the same baby class with P and E at Hoag, I recognized them from their gorgeous wedding pics on The Knot. When my friend told me about the accident I was heartbroken for your family and I read E's blog. Little did I know then that I too would become a young widow with 2 little kids. It helps to know she's survived. Wishing you peace that passes all understanding-God Bless!
-
Comment by DonnaReid on July 27, 2012 at 11:30pm -
I can't imagine having to deal with 2 losses at the same time. My heart aches just imagining the pain you must feel. When that anger and sadness build up in me, I run util I practically run out of breath. Then I sob... big, huge, gasping sobs. It is very cathartic. Your little princess is adorable!
-
Comment by Joyce on July 27, 2012 at 7:58am -
Oh Reese is beautiful and soo cute. And so is Duke, I believe he knows and understands. I'm glad you so the two birds and I'm sure Patrick and Bill are looking down on you, take some comfort in that. Hugs to you!
-
Comment by honeys(puddin) on July 27, 2012 at 5:29am
-
Excercise is good for you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and photos:)
-
Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on July 27, 2012 at 1:50am -
((((((((((Debi))))))))))) Your little princess is adorable. And Duke a very handsome dog... Our dogs can give us such comfort. I am glad you are having special times with your grandaughter & I am sure Bill & Patrick are smiling . I love when little birds.. or some little "incident" happens, to me they are signs we are not alone.
-
Comment by jimswife33 (Michelle) on July 27, 2012 at 1:11am -
Hi Debi,
Im so sorry you are hurting. Hugs. Your granddaughter is adorable, Im so glad you have each other.
Wishing you peace and healing.
Michelle
-
Comment by Dianne in Nevada on July 27, 2012 at 12:54am -
Love that you have your little princess to have fun with, Debi. What a blessing she is - even though I understand those special times are bittersweet. Your Duke is beautiful (is that ok to say about a male dog?). Losing Bill and Patrick is such a big loss ... hugs to you.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
HOT TOPICS!
© 2013 Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.
You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!
Join Widowed Village