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Today is the 1 year anniversary of when we received the diagnosis that my husband had 6 months to live.  The day my world was turned upside down.  I really miss him; he was my best friend in so many ways.  He understand me in a way that no one else did; accepted me with all my flaws and silly quirks.  We took care of each other.  My wish is I could have done more.  I wish I had a better hospice company than the one I did.  This company did not provide much support.  

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Comment by danny's girl on January 26, 2018 at 11:25am

Hugs to you.  I know we all wish we could have done more or maybe if we did x, y or z the outcome would have been different.  But I truly believe we all have done the best we could for our loved ones given the circumstances.  

My husband died in December 2010 just one month following a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.  He was evaluated at Dana Farber in Boston... a renowned hospital that treats dignitaries, celebrities  and royalty from around the world.  They couldn't help my husband. His first appointment with them was on December 6th and he passed in the early morning hours of December 18th.  His decline was so rapid that his coworkers did not even know he was dying. They only knew that he was 'out sick' from work. He didn't want to tell anyone at work about his diagnosis until we knew what his options were and by the time we knew there were no options, he was gone.  

Try not to be too hard on yourself.  The rocky road you are traveling on will get smoother with time.  In the meantime, cherish the memories of the very special guy that accepted and understood you...flaws, quirks and all.  When you have had some one like that in your life, you have truly been blessed.  

Comment by vintage56(barb) on January 25, 2018 at 5:45pm

(((hugs))) I think anyone who has dealt with illness will always question the decisions that were made. We were snowbirds and after the first round of chemo at a great NCI-center hospital, he was determined to go south for the winter like we always did. I felt the care he got was sub-par in the south. I wonder if I had insisted we stay with the first hospital, would he still be here today? When he was first diagnosed, they said about 60% of people get cured. But that is just a "What if?" situation as I could not have made him do anything he didn't want to do.

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