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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Missing your man? Feeling low? Want to feel healthier? Look at Male pheromines ladies

My Roses

So may of us feel we're ageing, long to be hugged and held. Lacking confidence and energy.

 Its been just over a year since my beloved passed away. He restored my life, we met 17 yrs ago - and it became a love of your life marriage. Loved the cuddles, the legs constantly entwined, if I sat up in bed reading a book, he would lie across the bed and my knees and look up at me. There was love, passion, fun, playful games, and just holding and gentle touch. Now of course I have the empty flat eyes that do not sparkle etc. What I do want to say to all of us is.. that it is not only the grief that is ageing us, it is something that has been studied medically. A man's pheromines have powerful effect on a woman's health. When young it helps balance her menstrual cycle, but it also helps with feelings of strength, and confidence, relaxation, and a great deal more. Some of the studies said that women who had sex at least every week were healthier... but there has been another aspect... because they realised that you do not to have to full sex, just cuddling - you are in his arms and his pheromines are around and on your skin. The effects on older women have been quite considerable, helping hormones, self esteem (because they feel stronger, and they do not age so much), and helps their confidence. Pheromines also help with attractiveness. Older women can still feel attractive and are attractive to men because of all these factors. Apparently one can buy pheromines to help us. Whatever we may feel about all this... the biggest BOOST for us is that we need men and they need us. I often wondered recently, why if I was taken by a volunteer driver (after being injured) to a clinic, I felt better. I thought it was some kind of energy that a man gave out, and we did as well. There was no touch but somehow after being in the car I felt better. It happened with a man who regularly comes to help me in the garden. I had more energy to go out and help. NOW I THINK IT IS BECAUSE I AM GETTING MALE PHEROMINES. I think it is worth investigating.... because women have pheromines as well... so we are making an effect on the men in a beneficial way. So it puts another dimension on our loss and why we feel so rough, look aged, and feel so lacking in energy.  This is why we want to be hugged.  Because so many of us have said if they were stressed they only had to have a hug or a cuddle from their husband and felt they were relaxed, at peace or felt protected. 

When we look at the studies that have been done on all this and add these results to all our other grief issues we can see that this makes some sense. We are bereft physically, emotionally, spiritually, and now sensually from the smell of our beloved.  A number of  WV widows say they missed the smell of their husband and looked for that ''perfume" on their clothes. Finally, as many of us do not want to date or marry  at this stage -  we could have an improvement in how we feel through just being hugged by a willing man friend, brother-inlaw etc.

God bless you all

March 18, 2014

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Comment by laurajay on March 18, 2014 at 5:39pm

Caution alert.  Do not take anything into your body without examination and thoughtful study.  Lots of theories.  Many suggestions here and elsewhere but being vulnerable please be careful not to think a magic anything will end your grief or bring fast relief. Suggestions are just that suggestions  and this is not really a  place to  do anything but tell our own stories, our own ideas as they pertain to us and our personal grief. Do your own research on your journey  considering if you decide to take any and all actions.  See suggestions for posting for more information. 

Comment by cecilia576 on March 18, 2014 at 1:41pm

So true! Very interesting view. Now I understand the desire of hugs and cuddling...oh, if it were possible. I found myself counting that now I have been 1278 days without a kiss, or a nice look with laughter in the eyes. It makes me sad to realize once again lost happiness, but on the other side, the luck of having known and lived many years of companionship and man + woman physical bond.

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