Today is Valentines Day, and also our Anniversary. What used to be my favorite day of the year, has now become the hardest day to face. What was the night I couldn't wait for, is now what I cant wait to get past. When I should be stopping on the way home to get a celebration bottle of wine to chill, now Im stopping at a fast food place to grab a burger on the way to visit my wife at the cemetery. Today I should be the happiest man on Earth, now I cry and long for what I once had. Tonight I should be making love to my wife, instead I will be watching tv trying to escape this reality that is now my life. I should be telling her how much I appreciate and love her, now I will be asking her to somehow comeback. Sometimes I feel like Im going crazy when I ask for such things. I know it is not possible, but still I ask. That's what Ive become, someone wanting to believe in the impossible. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have gotten married on Valentines Day, it makes it more difficult. Especially with tv and radio commercials every 3 minutes reminding me that its coming. So now, I drive around cussing at the radio. More crazy! But I am grateful that for the 13 years we were married, and the 18 years we were together, I had someone special to be my Valentine. She will always be My Love, My Valentine! I have a lot of wonderful memories with her, that's what makes it hurt! To all the widows and widowers, hugs, and Happy Valentines Day. To my wife Debbie, I Love You, and miss you so much! You will always be my Valentine!!!