I have sat down and spoken with him every month , as I have seen this year rush away. I have had a vision of him, his sister has had two visions. There have been many other signs of his presence over these last 10 months. But even with all this I have been so broken hearted. Seeing us all go through the shocking pain I decided I would share this with all of you. I hope you can find something of meaning or value in it.
29th September 2013
My roses: : How can I stop the tears from falling as I speak of this. I lost you at your best, your most vulnerable time. Only we know what we experienced during these years of love and delight in each other’s company.
Wes: Sweetheart, light of my life, I serve the Lord now but you still shine in my soul as well. I have told the Lord many times how much you mean to me and he understands. He has a plan for us. I know it.
My roses: will it be a plan for us to be together - as I feel (like so many of the widows) that being alone from the love of your life is one of the biggest sufferings that can be bestowed on anyone. But when you are with the love of your life you feel at peace, joyous and able to function in a special way. Being one with your beloved is a unique state of being. Have you any answers my love?
Wes: The plan he has for us is to be happy, not to separate us again, not to cause more brokenness or sorrow. If you have loved it remains for ever, if you desire to be with your loved ones you can. The Love of your life relationship, I gather is a more unique one, not so many people in the world have reached that, but those who have are able to remember what is was on earth and bind it here in heaven.
My roses: what do you mean by bind it here in heaven?
Wes: All I know, so far, is that the joys we had will be with us always and enhanced in heaven. If I loved you before I love you now. If I loved greatly it will be even greater here. If we were one then we will be one now but in an even greater way –more will be attached or felt than ever before. What I did for you or you did for me will be fuller than on earth. One look into your eyes on earth was heavenly, and one look into your eyes when I meet you again here will be stellar, galaxial, all encompassing, never broken. Because we are greater beings, and therefore we can behold and unfold within us the greater things of heaven.
Added to that is the fusion of us with the Lord… but what I was describing above is just what we are capable of experiencing together. I could not describe that of the Lord and his bride but we know it will be greater than our love for each other.But know this… we will have our love together and then we will feel all that is added by the Lord and his bride.
My roses: Beloved, that was a special and lovely description you gave. I was and am in need of hearing it. I was told by another widow that Billy Graham had said that the best of men here on earth were going to the Lord to become a warrior in God’s army. I found that interesting, as I had thought that too about 3- 4 months ago. I had noticed so many beautiful men being taken to heaven and wondering why. Feeling that perhaps God wanted them to be in his army in the final days. It confirmed my thought.
Wes: When I think about the things that would be added to the mansion which would be special gifts for you, it sends a sort of shiver of expectation and joy through my spirit. The Lord visits me almost every day. I also have begun to write poetry… based in part on my life with you… though there are other aspects as well. I love the feeling of peace I now have which gives me time to reflect.
My roses: Is there anything else you wish to tell me or which you have learnt since I last spoke with you?
Wes: Heaven is much larger than I had expected or imagined. Although I had not thought of it a lot in the past. I was surprised by the drifting of time, one does not notice the days pass… but I try to keep some idea of time, when I think of you. I like to know how long it is since I spoke to you and remember important days like our Anniversary. This is when I can relate in some way with your time and space.
There are many gatherings and there is another gathering which I am about to attend now. I want you to know that I am so joyous about us speaking together today. I love this and value it and know how much it also means to you. Do not leave our next talk so long. I pray for you every day. I tell you that I love you and whisper to you in your sleep.
My roses: I have not heard you whisper to me… but I am glad you do. Is it possible for me to remember your whisper sometimes? It would be beautiful.
Wes: I will see if I can do this… as I do not want you to lose sleep because you get woken up. I send you my love and enjoy looking after you so much. It does give me happiness every time, knowing I am able to be with you. The Lord has given us a great gift. I love you my precious woman and wait for us to speak again.
My roses: I love you so much and I want to tell you that having you in my life restored all the losses that went before and was the best time of my life.
Wes: Ah that is new to me. I never knew this before. I know being together was our best time but not that it had restored previous pain and loss. How wonderful.I can see now why our separation is again so painful. Sweetheart I wish there was something more I could do. Seeing you suffer is difficult, I think we should talk more often….so I can comfort you more.
My roses ;That would be good but I also find the songs, co-incidences etc very comforting – and the feeling of your presence. I still long to see your face. I saw our Dr. recently and he also said I should write a book. He also said to me earlier in the year that this sort of loss (widowhood) is terrible. Goodnight my beloved. I wish I could cradle you in my arms.
Wes: Here is a new goodbye. Au revoir mon amour. French for my love!!