Since my return to New York I have been trying my best to move forward. Now that I am living with my sister and her husband I am trying to adjust. In the beginning I looked for my hawk, bit it was nowhere to be seen. I know my John is with me, in my heart, in my soul, but lately I prayed for a sign. I'm currently going though so much physically that it seems my body decided to wait until I was in a stable place and bombard me with ailment after ailment. I'm tired, I barely sleep, I have sciatica and I may have issues with my thyroid. Depression became my friend. Somehow, a couple of days ago I looked up at the sky and prayed to God to allow me a chance to see John. I didn't know when, but I hoped it would happen.
I'm asleep yet third party view I see John in his standard denim jeans, jean jacket, white sneakers bending over my sleeping body, giving me a hug and kiss, like a mother to her child.
I bolted upright, gasped, and I'm clutched my blanket (which use to be John's). I sobbed hard, looking at the window in front of me and giving thanks. Thanking God, thanking John. I heard a someone rush next to me, my sister. I explained what happened and we both cried.
I got my sign and I feel happy but oh I didn't want it to end.