A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
So, I've never had the perfect MIL/DIL relationship. Even when B and I were boy/girl friend in jr high, they didn't know my nationality.
Our marriage wasn't perfect. We both made mistakes. However, in the end...we fell in love all over again. Butterflies in the stomach and all. We never went to bed angry. We always kissed goodnight and said I love you to one another. No one will ever know the conversations we had prior to his death. Those were our moments and our moments alone. Even if I tried to tell her (my MIL) she wouldn't believe me. It's ok. I accept that, but when you call me a liar remember that you are also calling YOUR GRAND DAUGHTER a liar too.
My husband was engaged to someone at the age of 18. She was caught cheating the night of their rehearsal dinner. He left and she went on to marry the guy she cheated with. Why now (we were married 19 years) are you proclaiming your everlasting love for my husband and posting pictures of your time with him all over facebook? Why have you befriended my SIL, where I have to see your comments, pictures, etc.?
After much thought and prayer I unfriended my SIL, but not before telling her why. The next day I got the message below from my MIL via text.
Rebecca..while i love receiving pictures of Aria...shes my grand daughter..i helped raise her..i love her and i always will..i prefer to communicate with her ...theres no need for our communication...you pretend to the ( ) that you care about them and want in all their business but that is not the rebecca we know...you never appologized for disrespecting me...thats fine i didnt thnk you would..there was an oppurtunity for a solid relationship but you blew it..I didnt do anything on purpose to hurt you..You robbed me and aria of our time on mothers day...You tried to turn her against ( ) and me...So thats that...you hold onto things you shouldnt..Theres so much more..But.. whats the point..go your way rebecca..Just not in my family..Or my life..U took the name ( ) It was never given to you...U remain rebecca b( ) to me... you are blessed to have your daughter..hope you appreciate Benny for that..she is truly his sunshine .soon she can come see her granparents when she wants
Oh, by the way...I didn't apologize for being hurt over the fact that you all ordered & placed MY HUSBAND's (and the FATHER OF OUR DAUGHTER) headstone without our input and/or knowledge. I was going to take care of that, remember? You even called to make sure I would include YOU in my decision. I understand he was your son/brother, but he also had a wife and a child. My walking away that day had to do with respecting you enough not to go off and say hurtful things that I would regret and couldn't take back later.
So, when you don't see/hear from your grandchild know that you have only yourself to blame. I didn't turn her against you...you did that all on your own.
I wish you all Love and Peace. I pray that one day you will find the comfort and peace that you all so desperately search for with the loss of your son/brother. Perhaps had you loved him more and criticised him less for his decision to make his marriage/family work you would have had more time to love him and know that he was tired of being in pain (physically, mentally, emotionally).
Aria and I, although we miss him dearly, are at peace with our time with B.