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It has been 3 1/2 years since my Husbands death.   The first year was almost unbearable.   I didn't know that I had that many tears in me!   The second and third years have been better emotionally.   I still get teary eyed but it is not a daily thing.     There are more positive and good days now.   I was watching a movies (love story) yesterday and it was a tear jerker.   Tears were rolling down my face and my thoughts were of my beautiful Husband.   I was full of sadness and felt so alone.   I just went with the emotions and let the tears flow and worked through my feelings.     Even though it was very difficult to go through it is part of the process.   Today I feel grateful for the 31 years that I had with him.   How lucky I was!  

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Comment by lizbeth4 on August 23, 2016 at 6:55pm

Today, the last morning of my Husbands life was in my thoughts.   Our Grandson had spent the night with us and before I took him to school he ran into the bedroom to give his Papa a hug and kiss.   I remember the look in my Husbands eyes.   Our Grandson was his everything.   He lived in a home with all females and was beyond thrilled when our Daughter had a son.   Later that morning my Husband was taken to the emergency room where he later died.   I don't understand why my mind keeps replaying these scenes.   Every so often, I relive scenes of his illness or death.   I guess it is just another part of the process of grieving.   I know that everyday I find a way to survive without him.   Little steps!  

Comment by lizbeth4 on August 16, 2016 at 2:44pm

Oh Majel,   I am so sorry for your losses.  How devastating!   The first year is real tough!  I am glad that you have recovered from your injuries.    My Husband was 57 years old when he died of lung cancer.  I miss him too!   We were living our lives.    I had taken a early retirement and my Husband was going to retire in 2 years.  He never made it!   I had 2 months with him, mostly not good for him.   I too went to a grief group and have read many books on grief.   Whatever it takes to help us get through!  

Comment by majel on August 14, 2016 at 10:44am

Tomorrow will be the one year Anniversary of my husbands home going to heaven. I miss him so much. It has been such a crazy and difficult year that I am actually relieved that a year has passed. He retired at 57 in March 2015. We hosted his 40 year high school reunion at our home in June. Celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary August 4th and my 57th birthday August 5th. On August 15th 2015 we were in our car driving to a family reunion in Iowa. I was driving and my precious husband Rich was in the seat behind me. My father-in-law was in the front passenger seat and my mother-in-law was behind him. We were rear ended by a 34 your old woman speeding down highway 35 when she drifted into our lane while trying to down load an app on her cell phone to entertain her children. Rich died instantly, my mother-in-law died less than 2 days later of her injuries and I have fully recovered from mine. My father-in-law was unharmed. I feel sad alternating with feeling grateful to be alive. I miss him so much but am so grateful for the 36 years that I had with him. He was one in a million. I went through a grief group and saw a therapist for 4 months. One of the most helpful books that I read was Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller.

Comment by Mrs. M. on August 10, 2016 at 7:28pm

lizbeth4...your story gives me hope.  Still less than a year.  I am so grateful to the wonderful man I called my husband, yet remain overwhelmed by the total and complete loss of the many roles he played in our lives - business partner, lover, best friend, travel companion, golf partner (always just US..we never played w/o each other..not even ONCE).  So many holes to plug.  It is about the emptiness...overwhelming emptiness is always with me.  First year of retirement together. I remain ‘stuck’ and yet have a full understanding of how lucky I am to know him as MY husband.  The finest man I have ever, or will ever, know.

Comment by lizbeth4 on August 10, 2016 at 5:34pm

Hope, I do remember the good memories of my Husband.    When I feel like crying, I do.   I just go with the emotions.   I will always have the memories of him with me.   I am grateful for the time I had with him and all of the awesome memories.   I don't know if it gets easier with time or that we just learn how to live without them and continue on.   I want a happy-rest of my life.  I plan on doing what I want and enjoying my life.   He didn't get to do all that he wanted.  But I am going too!!!  Life is too short!

Comment by Hope on August 10, 2016 at 4:58am

Glad you are doing well for the most part lizbeth4. I am just at one year and a month so your note encouraged me that it gets better. At the same time, there will always be moments of sadness and tears and when it strikes you let it out. I am grateful for the 35 years I had.

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