In a very round about way I found Widowed Village.
One side of my heart says- finally some people who get what you've been through and continue to go through.
The other side says- is it helpful to you to hang out with people who have the same problems you do?
I have no answer.
Except that the gracious way I have been instantly embraced by this community is refreshing. I don't have to explain anything. They truly get it.
If say "my husband" they know I mean my late husband. I hate that phrase, but in some situations it's helpful to distinguish my marital status from people who have been divorced. I would still be married if he hadn't died. I guess I still feel married and to explain that to people who have not had to say that last good-bye is futile. He will never be out of my heart.
If I mention to others who have loss their spouse how I don't like to celebrate holidays without him they understand. I want to be involved in celebrating but it's not the same anymore.
When I read posts about friendships changing, wondering whether or not to date, or when you stopped wearing your wedding rings I don't feel so alone. The voices here are real, honest and full of wisdom about things I have not yet discovered on this journey.
But when I read posts by people who have just recently lost the love of their life, I silently weep. I know how you feel all too well and there is nothing to do but offer a virtual hug, condolences, and prayers for the next day to be better than today.
You are strangers like me, in a strange place no one can explain before you get here, but I already feel like we are friends.