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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

You never know what you are going to wake up to on any given day. That was especially true today as I got an early morning phone call from a friend telling me his brother and sister-in-law lost their baby during delivery this morning. My heart instantly broke for them all, however it wasn't until he stopped by the office did it sink in how much pain he is in.

I can't imagine living through that specific situation, but what I can relate to is the pain of loss, the confusion of death and the flood of unexplained emotions that accompanies it all. The strength of his emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. Being sensitive to others in that way, I could feel what he was experiencing and it was overwhelming.

During the morning time, I was struggling with processing my own feelings about Frank and some of the guilt that I carry for not having been (in my mind) supportive enough for him. I made a vow to myself after he died that I would not let another person in my life suffer "alone" or with less care, comfort and love than they deserve. Today, God gave me the opportunity to exercise that promise for a friend who has also shown me support and words of encouragement as I go through some personal issues in this season of my life. 

I would have given a million dollars for someone just to wrap their arms around me when Frank died and the days following. I didn't need words all the time. Sometimes, just a silent embrace or a squeeze of my hand is all I needed to feel the warmth and support of another. I want to be able to give that to others who are in need of the same. I consider it a gift that I have recognized this need in myself, but an even greater gift to know that I can freely pass that along to anyone at anytime.

My heart hurts for others so much sometimes that I honestly feel like it will burst. That means I have more than my share of compassion and that I have an obligation to care for my brothers and sisters around me. We are human. Life has tragedies. Life has joys. We hurt. We laugh. We sing. We cry. There is not a single human who can not relate to all of these. So, why don't we start doing something about it?

For me, I am actively on the lookout for how I can provide even the smallest consolation and comfort to anyone else. I want to make the weight of a day easier to carry. If two share the load of a burden, both can make it through much easier than carrying a load all on your own.

Whose weight can you help carry?

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Comment by Doug02122014 on November 24, 2015 at 7:59pm
mbmlmw21069,

First of all, my condolences to your friend and his family. This has to be just awful for them. They got lucky to have a friend like you to lean on.


You said it perfectly "I didn't need words all the time. Sometimes, just a silent embrace or a squeeze of my hand is all I needed to feel the warmth and support of another."

Sometimes less is more. I think it's great that you have recognized what it takes to comfort those who are grieving and are embracing the opportunity God has given you to give back to society. I'm cut from the same mold as you in this. Yes it really stinks how we all got to this place, but since we are here, it's now about how are we going to deal with it. We could crawl in a bottle and withdrawal from the world, or we can turn a bad situation into a positive.

I see for myself giving back to those grieving is a calling or mission to serve God. There is such a need for people with compassion who are not afraid to help and "GET IT".

You said you are "actively on the lookout for how you can provide even the smallest consolation and comfort to anyone else." Well believe me, the opportunities will find you when you least expect it. At least that has been my experience. I recently remarried and on the honeymoon I sat and talked with no less than 3 other widowed people who I had never met. My new wife was in awe at this and pointed out to me that God has given me a mission and I sincerely think He has given the same mission to you too. Please stay in touch on this, I'd like to hear about your experiences.
Comment by Patience on November 24, 2015 at 6:34pm
How incredibly sad. I'm so sorry about your friend's baby. I think before the loss of my husband I didn't really understand the finality and darkness of death. Of course we also now understand more the beauty and miracle that is life. Again,,so sad and heartbreaking for the baby's family.

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