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     Well, today is my 32nd birthday but it doesn't feel like anything special.  While I have lots of friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, I am not getting love from the one person I want, my Ray.  Why doesn't today feel special?  It did for many years before I met him, it did all those years I was with him, but now it seems like another day but more hollow. 

     I feel like its not a special of a day because he is not here to share it with me.  I keep hoping I will hear a song on the radio or see something while walking down the street and know its him telling me Happy Birthday Babe!  I don't know why I think this, I haven't had any encounters like this yet, so why would today be any different? 

     Guess I'm just extra sad that I'm not with the one person I want to be with today. Guess I want a sign from him that he is okay and that he still loves me like I love him.

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Comment by only1sue on May 28, 2015 at 1:07pm

I am not young, I will be 68 next Tuesday, but I do love to be made a fuss of, so on my birthday after two and a half years I find some family members to be with.  This year I am going to my daughter and her family, I know they will at least sing "Happy birthday" and maybe have a cake and candles for me.  Our special person made everything special and now we have to make the effort to design a day that is special for ourselves - and that is tough. Hope the year ahead is better for you.

Comment by Young Widow on May 28, 2015 at 9:16am
I know how you feel, my 28th birthday recently passed, and I didn't even celebrate it.....I didn't even want the day acknowledged by anyone, though some of my family did buy me presents, it wasn't the same. I had no cake, candles, singing, laughter.....not in protest or anything but only because I didn't feel like it.......I found a way to sort of spend my birthday with my guy though, I made a tribute video of him the night before and posted it on Facebook on my birthday. Support and hugs to you!
Comment by laurajay on May 26, 2015 at 2:00pm

Happy birthday  H2obapper.  I can only say this----you are young---too young for such loss---Give yourself more time and take good care of yourself now that your husband has died. Get adequate sleep.  Eat properly and find work or hobbies that  actively distract you.  No one can ever replace your husband or the love you shared but the heart is resilient  and it's capacity to heal and love endless.  Better times are ahead for you as is at least 50 or more years.  Make room and take time to let it happen.  Patience is the key.     lj

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