This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Try Writing When the Pain is Really Bad

We all have to find what works for us when it comes to getting through the pain of loss. My way is my way. Yours is yours. I've used writing my entire life to work through difficult spots and to understand my life. I think its a tool that anyone can use. You don't have to show anyone your writing, you don't even have to save what you write. Or you can start a blog, write a letter, or keep a journal devoted to your grief. The simple act of writing down your deepest feelings has been proven to heal (check out the book: Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions by James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D, a research psychologist.) One of the reasons Widowed Village is so brilliantly helpful is the way in which it encourages us to write down our thoughts about losing our spouses in this shared environment.

For more ideas on using writing to heal, you might find my blog to be of help. In it, I list a number of exercises you can try, if you don't know where to start.

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Comment by Jill on February 23, 2012 at 3:09pm

Thanks hendrixx2. Take care.

Comment by hendrixx2 on February 23, 2012 at 10:18am

jill, thank you for you encouraging post, i too have found that writing it down somehow has helped me to deal the pain and sadness this loneliness has caused.  thank you for the resources, wishing peace and healing for you...

Comment by Jill on February 23, 2012 at 9:19am

Hi shadowandcloud, thanks for your support. Wish we could all get together for an in-person writing group!

Comment by Jill on February 22, 2012 at 4:43pm

Thanks Blue Snow! I'm so glad you're here on Widowed Village. I have checked out your blog and will revisit. You have a great deal to share. xx

Comment by Blue Snow on February 22, 2012 at 12:47pm

I strongly believe in the healing power of journal keeping or blogging, too. I bookmarked your exercises to try later. (Nice blog!) Something I found really useful just after my husband's stroke---we were told he'd been a vegetable for life which turned out to be far from the truth---anyway, I made myself start a gratitude journal. I couldn't go to bed until I'd written five things to be grateful for. Sometimes it would be something as simple as I made it through the day or I was grateful I could finally go to bed. Eventually, I started taking a mental note through out the day of small things that I was grateful for. That journal really got me out of a black hole and look for the positives every day.

Thanks for sharing!

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