Still not getting enough sleep, tossing around physically and mentally when I should be asleep. Got to thinking today about how many people had I seen in the last 8 days. (Not people in shopping centres) but people I know. It wasn't many.
My count was 4. How relevant or close were they? One was a friend who went with me to a concert. One was my gardener, who says he has my interests at heart. He talked for quite a while and then did some work for me. He is the man who can change a light bulb for me, because I am not tall enough to reach it. He has done some patching of the walls inside the house. His wife has cancer, he knew Wes, we discuss the cancer issue and the 'state of play".
Is she winning? Wes of course has lost... (at least on earth. But I know he is alive.)
One was the hairdresser who cut Wes and my hair. I was in town and I dropped in to see him. (Not for my hair). He has lost his wife about 2 yrs ago. He was pleased to see me and I asked him how he was. He said "it comes in waves" all of us here know what that means. Lately, we have met to have a coffee, or light lunch. At one of these he told me he had known Wes for some years before I met Wes. I can also discuss intuitive and more spiritual things with him. He shared with me some things he needed help with... which I was glad I could do (related to me being a former counsellor).
The fourth person said they would come to my home for morning tea. She had not arrived, she had been delayed and would be there in 20 mins. Still nothing. Anyway I rang her Mother to get her mob. phone. All sorted out now 1.5 hrs later and she arrived at my house. We talked for about 3 hrs. She saw the beautiful large photos of Wes in silver frames and thought they were lovely. She asked if I had any wedding photos. Yes I have in a large album along with the wedding invitations, pieces of the cake ribbon, menu all at the front of the album prior to the photos. She liked the way it was set out. She talked about a book I might like to read. I said yes. It talks about something I posted a week or so ago. That our loved ones can see us... they are also called A cloud of witnesses.. in the bible. She also said that they are concerned about us, their loved ones, they pray for us and watch over us.
So dear friends who may have read my post on Widowed in 2013 this is an unexpected confirmation. Because I am not really eating much - I don't have an appetite - I gave her all the special biscuits and pieces of cake left over to take home. She was pleased as she has about 6 children (not sure) foggy widow's brain again.... She left saying she was going to think about the issues for widows, she had grieved over the loss of her son's baby boy. So she got it!
I went to the table to do some work and the ph rang (another visitor?) and as I spoke a cat, NOT MINE, came and sat outside the long window and miaouwed at me. He has been trying this in various ways for some weeks.The phone call was from Sydney about 3000 miles away from us. Good news, a bill had been waived by the company.
The man speaking had solved it all for me. He said he had rung back also, because 2 days ago he found out that Wes had passed away and he wanted to see how I was. We talked for about half an hour. He was working late at his office. He then shared that he had losses too. I told him about something I had mentioned in a post recently.
An article saying that widowed people can have 2 loves at the same time - the one they have lost and a new companion. It was an interesting day because I thought I ONLY HAD SEEN 4 PEOPLE in 8 days. It seemed so small. But lots of talking and thoughts were flowing backwards and forwards. Worthwhile conversations not polite small talk, not "pity parties" as you call it in USA. But relevant talk.... so these 4 people were very relevant, and then a 5th was added in for luck by visiting on the phone. Can I count the cat as the 6th? Yes maybe...trouble is I can't speak Catese and he could not speak English. So hope he said something good. Maybe I lost something REALLY BIG TIME that he said........