Last night I talked to my grandson's Mom and was so comforted by our call, I actually phoned to talk to him and he was out so it gave us time to talk. She was able to bring out all the details of my husband's illness, his passing and how things were going now in such a way that it wasn't seen by me as intruding, in fact it was very therapeutic. No one has done this since he left this world and it was such a release to be able to talk about it, the feelings I had, the conversation Dale and I had during his last days, I'm finding that people don't want to talk about the grief but when you're going through it, it's the biggest white elephant in the room. The grief is all encompassing and pushing it away and telling me to think more positive thoughts just doesn't cut it. I've decided not to talk to them about it since it just causes me to feel more unsettled and them more uncomfortable. I watched a video on the website 'Refuge in Grief' where she talked about this very thing, we have to deal with it as we're going through it, trying to ignore the feelings doesn't help, and the first step is no one can fix us, all they can do is be there, listen and know they don't have to have all the answers. letting your grieving loved one know they are not alone is a huge step in helping them deal with what they are going through.