wanting more then a hug

Comment

Comment by janet on August 6, 2012 at 6:33pm

Only thing is to move forward and explain to him that you are not interested in a relationship. 

I understandstanding wanting more than a hug myself and the thought has crossed my mind as well just not sure if I am ready for it just now.  Sure do miss the companionship though.

Comment by Jerry on August 6, 2012 at 5:43pm

I guess we still have needs or desires even though we lost our spouses. I met a widow of 3 years on match.com last year. We went on dates for a few months, then one night while sitting on her couch we wound up stairs in her bed. We had sex quite a few times over the next few months. But all I kept feeling was guilt. I had to tell her I didn't want to continue that part of our relationship. She was not happy,but so far we have still been dating. I told her if she finds someone else I would understand . She had told me her relationship with her late husband was not to good ,and she wanted a second chance at love. I had a good sex life with my wife,up until the time she got ill. I like this lady, but I can't say I am in love. I feel for me it would be less of a guilt trip if I had a one night stand rather then a committed relationship. I often think having sex with this lady was a big mistake on my part.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on July 18, 2012 at 7:56am

Thanks all, I already know it wont happen again. I just wish I felt some kind of guilt out of it and I don't That's the part of this all that I don't like. But time to look forward not back right.

Comment by Sherbear on July 17, 2012 at 4:16pm

I bet most of us here have had that same thought in our mind. I know I think of it myself. "Am I desireable to anyone". And the thought of having a "trusted friend" help out is a thought also. But, at least you are calling and seeing it for what YOU wanted out of it. And, yes, what's been done is done. And, you did it while rediscovering yourself and  while you journey in this "new territory" you've found yourself in. You're smart to be able to keep it there for what it was. Here's wishing that the very best that life has to bring you will find it's way to you in the very near future (((((Lisa)))))

Comment by kimkirt (KK) on July 17, 2012 at 2:00pm

Lisa, hang in there. You know what is right in your heart and head and they will guide you. HUGS!

Comment by Kerryn on July 17, 2012 at 11:01am

Lisa,

I totally get wanting more than a hug and missing sex.  That was one thing, even through it all, we had a great sex life and I do miss it.  I hear my friends pooh poohing their husbands, etc. & I just want to shout at them that at least they have the option. (ok, I'm off my soap box now.)

With your situation - stay strong, don't make it an ongoing thing - it will make him have to deal w/the issues with his wife.  Regardless, it takes two and he chose his actions as well.  The future direction is up to you.

I think too, would maybe be easier w/ someone I know than a stranger, but worry that maybe, just maybe I'd end up freezing up - and then look/feel like an even bigger fool.

Comment by Jpswife(Cathy) on July 17, 2012 at 8:19am

Lisa. You can't undue the past but you can prevent a future mistake! You can find some one special to
Love you without having the regrets of breaking up a marriage! I pray we both find someone.......

Comment by cec on July 17, 2012 at 2:57am

Whats done is done..no worries sweetie