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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I'm very new to this group, as I have tried to avoid the pain and grief, but we all know that you can only hold it in for so long. This sunday would be our one year wedding anniversary, and I'm quite afraid of how to handle it all I can seem to think about is the life we could be having and what will never be. Any pointers on how to cope?

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Comment by icecream on June 17, 2014 at 7:00pm

I functioned on auto-pilot for almost 2 years. Focused on other things, kept busy. Finally realized what I was doing and joined this site, sought counseling for myself and three teen girls, and found a support group to join. Kinda wish I would have faced things head on when my husband first passed, but not sure I could have felt all of those things then. I am here now, and I am certainly 'feeling it'.....hugs to all of us.

Comment by cjh0588 on June 13, 2014 at 9:27am

quiettsttorm, Everything happened so quickly and I lost our home, and had to open an estate, it didn't allow me to I guess "deal" with the pain and I'm not even so sure I have. I'm afraid that I may not be able to stand up again after I fully accept it. That is partially why I joined this group to help me see that I'm not alone in the things I feel.

Comment by quiettsttorm on June 13, 2014 at 7:53am

Hi...just want to respond to "we all know you can only hold it in for so long..." I delayed grieving for 2 months--didn't cry, went on automatic pilot. Only a month ago did I choose to surrender and open myself up to it and oh my...the floodgates! But you know, we honor our loved ones when we allow the process. One precious moment at a time, one raw, awful aching swell at a time...

Comment by LaurieR on May 29, 2014 at 7:35pm

It is so tough to loose your love.  All I can say is breath and go to sleep early so the day ends sooner.

Comment by MissingRKK on May 28, 2014 at 6:19pm

Hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss.  The pointer I would give you is do not hold the grief and pain in. Let it out, let it come roaring out. It is going to one way or the other. Honor it and simultaneously honor the love you had for your spouse. Be gentle to yourself.  Wishing you peace.

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