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What i wouldn't give to just go back in time forty days. It was just an average night where my husband hang out downstairs playing on the Xbox and i was on my laptop playing The Sims. Probably not the usual things a couple of almost forty-somethings would be doing, but it was us. I would give anything to go back to that. Little did i know that night that my whole world would suffer a drastic change in the predawn hours of the next day. It was right about 4:30am on July 2nd when my world as I knew it ceased to exist. I was woken by a crashing sound to find my husband on the floor next to the bed. i do not know if he was trying to get up and fell or if he simply fell out of bed. He was shaking and unresponsive so i called 911 right away. The cops and the EMTs showed up pretty quickly, but they could not bring my husband back. He was already gone. In less than an hour my world had collapsed and I was alone. I would give almost anything to go back in time so i was sitting here with my husband and not alone. I do not like this new world . . . .

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Comment by Donutmom4x on September 23, 2015 at 12:52am

I too lost my husband very suddenly.   It has been a nightmare since his accident.  The life I knew and had died with him that day and I have yet to find my footing in this world I now live in without him.  I so know what you are going through as do so many others on this site.  Just take it a day or even a minute at a time.  Feel free to penpal me if you`d like as well.  

Comment by Hope on August 22, 2015 at 7:26pm

July 10 ...very similar. My husband died in bed from a massive heart attack. My life feels shattered, grueling and I wonder how I will ever find a way to live without him. My heart breaks for you too

Comment by Bonnie on August 10, 2015 at 9:07am
It is so hard to accept such a sudden and dramatic change. You had no time to prepare. And you still haven't really had time to absorb it. I was in shock for months after my husband died--just numb and not knowing how to feel or what to do--and I had time to know that his end was coming sooner rather than later. I said at the time that he was thoughtful in that as he was in everything else--he gave me time to practice living alone in the months he was in a care facility and he gave me time in the five years he moved more and more into dementia and dependence to have to take care of everything alone without his help. But it still wasn't easier to say good-bye. In your case life simply turned on a dime with no warning at all and although that probably was easier on him it certainly was harder on you. I hope you can be very kind to yourself as you adjust to this new world which none of us like but we have no choice but to accept. I comfort myself by clinging to thoughts of the good times and our last evening together was one as it seems yours was. Hold that memory fresh and know that it was good for him that it was quick. It was for my husband too at the end and I am happy that he didn't have to suffer in a hospital and was able to engage in life until 40 minutes before he left it. It has helped me to wrtie about my feelings here and to read the reponses as I have a better understanding of this dark passage. I hope you will keep writing and that the kind sympathy offered here can help you as it has me.

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