A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I wrote this on a "meet-up" site in the Chicago area but I think it's lost in cyber space. Thought I'd copy it here but after reading again felt compelled to add some.
This is my first post here. (I joined months ago but sort of wrote off this group right after...two reasons: In my late 50's and feel I'm too old for this site. You know, "too old to be young and too young to be old". Also, it seems there is very little activity - so far no meet-ups posted in months.
When I first stumbled on this site I was searching, and still am, for kindred spirit(s) with whom I could relate and commiserate.
It's confusing out there on the web. Many google results to the search for say, "widowed groups" or "widowed loss" "bereavement, loss of spouse" and anything else I could think of to find another person in my shoes who wanted to get together (in grief) to talk, hopefully find a common bond and end up with a new friend who you understand and who understands you. Many of the results seem to be MATCH UP (for dating) websites.
My husband (It still seems so impossible) died at the end of January 2011. I lost the person who thrilled me, who shared most all my experiences, jokes, sayings, smiles, humor, love and memories that make me who I am.
He was my biggest supporter and greatest fan, I was his. Now, 17 months later, I get through the days. When I'm with people I can live in the moment. When I'm alone, in or out of the house he is there in my heart, thoughts and mind. Smiles, sayings, his presence always coming back to me.
I'm no longer present like before January 21, 2011. Seems like the real me doesn't exist anymore.
I figure in time somehow my life will sort itself out. (It has to, doesn't it?)
I hadn't expected to pour these feelings out in this venue. God, it's sounds like a huge downer and pity party. It's not like that all the time. I can mostly put these feelings aside and live in the moment. It's a well known saying "love makes the world go round". If that is the case then by the same token, losing that love would naturally make the world STOP.
(The following was added -- Suddenly the world as we've known it ceases to exist. It is replaced with emptiness and despair. The ground is gone, the main connection to life and self are gone so... there is nothing to hold on to, not only the heart but identity is wiped out.)
Shouldn't there be other's in similar shoes nearby... to meet, share, understand? Wouldn't you think there would be masses of them? (Maybe not masses considering the divorce rates and breakups but...If you go by WV there a lot of people here who know the love I'm talking about...who have loved deeply. They (we) share and reach out --because, where is there another outlet to find people like us?
For the longest time I've been looking for a life raft to cling to...in the form of real people who I have met due to a common bond of loss...to help each other through the rough patches and feel safe...through which real friendship grows. That has not happened yet.
The days go on but the question remains...
How to... get back a life and get the world to spin again?