In 2018 I lost my partner Clayton to a terminal illness just 10 months after my father passed away. The storm of the first 2 years led into a pandemic and I was trapped alone in my widowed world. I could feel the loneliness and depression sinking in. Watching others post about their pandemic grief sounded just like I did at the start of my journey. I could just give in or I could take hold of the gift we all have inside – The ability to generate my own joy.

I quickly learned I could use that gift to fight the darkness so I started to dance on social media. At the same time, I began to share my widowed blog to show everyone there was hope to be had and that there would be smiles in their future. Social media was becoming a growing community connected and supported because of our combined grief. Through community we find support and that generates gratitude which, in turn, fuels the cycle to continue creating more positive energy and igniting the light that can guide others towards safe harbor.

This book is the collection of social media posts, blog posts, insights and reflections that I have written from the time my partner Clayton passed away until we were able to have his funeral 4 years later. It contains the writings as is without grammatical edits and sentence structure corrections because grief writes as it feels, corrections would dilute the honesty and authenticity of the emotions and experiences as I felt them.