Since my wife died at the very end of the year, here I am in 2024 with several weeks of vacation time. I already took a week off to just try and deal.
Any experiences of returning to favorite vacations spots without your significant other? I'm sure there would be sadness and missing and such, but I suppose the same could be said if going somewhere new and realizing you can't share that with them either.
I could see just being paralyzed and doing nothing. So, go back to our favorites, and the places we visited while there, and try to enjoy? Go new places and try not to feel like you're betraying them by having new experiences without them?
Like everything at this point, I just don't know.
ChristineG-2 says
Posted on March 16, 2024 0
That is the hard part, Jim…we just don’t know until we do it.
I lost my husband 1 year ago and just returned from a trip to somewhere new. It was beautiful and kept busy with activities. I did feel some guilt, but also know he would not want me to feel that. I think it was easier than going back to our favorite places. Places that I thought would be part of our future vacations/retirement.
“Re-entry” from vacation was hard for me. Didn’t expect it to be as emotional as it has been.
I’m sorry for your loss. Hope you find some comfort within this group.
Tracey A says
Posted on March 6, 2024 0
Hi, first, sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly (1-27-22) the day after we got back from the first vacation we had ever taken as just a couple in 32 years of marriage. I went back to the same place (Cancun) and stayed in the same hotel as that trip over the 1 year anniversary. It was very emotional but for whatever reason I had felt drawn to do it. It is going to be emotional and hard wherever you are (obviously), so take a minute and see if you feel drawn to go somewhere specific. I’m sure part of the draw for me to go back to Cancun was simply the wonderful memories we made on that trip.
MichelleD-4 says
Posted on January 25, 2024 1
Hey Jim- S2, sorry for the loss of your wife. Maybe you should take a week’s vacation to somewhere you haven’t been before and take the extra week you have left to visit some of the places you and your wife used to go to. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to venture out to new places and maybe enjoying yourself; she would want you to venture out to new places and for you to be happy.
I haven’t been at the Jersey Shore since 2016 which was before he died and after he died in 2019 which was 4 years 5 months ago.
I’m considering going to the Jersey Shore this upcoming Summer for the day and do a remembrance of him by burying my ash cremation pendant and silver chain into the sand cuz he loved going to the beach and laying out in the sun all day. I’ll also go to Keenan’s in North Wildwood, NJ and have a cocktail in memory of him.
Maybe in a few years i could plan a trip and go to the Bahamas with my daughter cuz I’ve been wanting to go their since I was 25 years old. I have to save enough money each month from my check for at least 2 year’s minimum to cover my airfare, hotel stay, car rental, passport if I need one, to buy new clothes for this vacation and of course to have spending money. I don’t see my daughter saying no to a tropical vacation.
Kbagacina says
Posted on January 24, 2024 1
Who wants to travel alone? Not me. I also don’t feel right going to places we planned to go without my husband. I plan to go to Yosemite with family this spring, we took many trips there with the kids. We’ll see if I make it.
Getting through the week of “normal life” is hard enough. This week has been hard. It’s week 15, I don’t know what makes this week harder.
But I digress, to respond to your question, I think it’s probably healthier for all of us to venture out when we’re ready. Let us know how that goes.
Gary says
Posted on January 23, 2024 2
I share your comments. It has been 18 months since my wife passed. I am retired so I have the time to go places. But going on vacation by myself just doesn’t excite me. I thought about going to one of our favorite places, but that would just bring up too many memories. A couple of weeks ago I finally decided to book a week in Florida in May. Part of me is excited about going back to a beach, but the thought of being there alone still sucks.
MichelleD-4 says
Posted on January 25, 2024 0
Hey Gary, sorry for the loss of your wife. I share your thoughts that going back to places you and your spouse went to will bring back too many memories. Glad to see that you’re going to Florida in May; enjoy yourself and don’t feel guilty for wanting to have fun.
My husband and I used to go the Jersey Shore every year for our vacation from 2010 thru 2016. Haven’t been back to the Jersey Shore since.
Although I’m retired, I can’t go too far especially out of state, cuz I watch my daughter’s dog during the week days while she works. Maybe she’ll have my mother watch the dog for the day so we can go to Jersey Shore for the day.
I also want to go to The Bahamas with my daughter within the next 2-3 years cuz I’ve always wanted to go their since I was 25 years old. I’m gonna have to save money each month from my check for at least 2 years minimum to cover my airfare, hotel cost, car rental, passport, to buy new clothes for this vacation and have spending money too.
only1sue says
Posted on January 22, 2024 1
In the first couple of years it is hard to travel without guilt. I went to England from Australia visiting cousins but tried to go different places rather than the same. The second visit I went back to Ireland which we had done together but didn’t enjoy it alone. It seemed senseless to go back over the same ground.
It took me a few years but I have developed different tastes over the years and now have my own favourite places locally rather than internationally. I did try a.cruise but that wasn’t for me. I visit distant friends, had one bus trip with my daughter and sometimes take day trips out to beauty spots to fill in the gaps of my local knowledge.
Hope this helps.
MichelleD-4 says
Posted on January 25, 2024 0
Hey only1sue, glad to see that you took the plunge and traveled to other countries by yourself. Sorry that you didn’t get to fully enjoy yourself on those trips. Also glad to see that you now have favorite places of your own to go to and cherish.
I haven’t done any out of state traveling since 2016 and since my husband died 4 years 5 months ago. Never been out of the country. I’m scared to travel outside the US cuz due to all of the threats by foreigners that they’ll blow up planes and also being on foreign soil with the only way out is by airplane.
I’m overdue for a vacation and I definitely need to start getting out of the house and going to new places once a month. I’m on a fixed income so I have to watch my spending cuz my money has to last me for the entire month.