I see couples together all the time. I look at the guy and think: “You are a lucky dude. You are a very, very lucky dude.” I was that lucky dude eight months ago and did not appreciate it.
If the lady looks a little older, I think: “At least she does not have a hole drilled through her head.” That is from the trauma of the ICU experience my wife (and my daughter, son and me) went through. She had a port inserted into her brain to relieve pressure. Seeing her that way stills haunts me.
I stopped attending a mid-morning church service because I saw so many couples sitting close to each other, sometimes the husband with his arm around his wife. I actually cried seeing that and started attending an earlier, less attended, service to avoid those scenes.
I am not jealous of such couples. I am thrilled they have that love. Love between a couple is such a tremendous gift. I sure miss that.
– – –
Joe
When I see couples together, I smile and remember my time with my husband. I think to myself, I was one time, not too long ago, just like the couple the distant couple I noticed. It’s been six months since my husband suddenly and tragically crossed over; but I have fond memories which I can relate to being a couple. It’s not to say, I don’t miss my husband; but I know my new journey is to walk alone, survive and thrive to find my way in the world. I am very grateful to have precious memories of living as a loving couple. I feel fortunate and humble I was “loved” for many years by my husband, and didn’t miss out on living life as a happy couple.
I was at a lunch with three couples the other day. One of the couples was newly engaged and had that aura of “new, exciting” love. It was very hard on me. I was very happy for them, and it made me yearn for the days when Ben and I were first together. As well as wishing that he was by my side.
When I see couples together, my hearts squeezes and hurts a little, and I am wistful. I miss John acutely at those moments. But I certainly don’t begrudge others their happiness.
I saw a couple holding hands today as they were walking down the street and then yet kissed. It reminded me of when we used to hold hands as we walked down the street and my wife would pull on my hand and that meant she wanted a kiss. It was a little thing we did and we did it a lot and not just the early years, all the way to the end. Seeing couples reminds me, it does not make me jealous or upset, it makes me remember which makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. There is grief, which is one emotion and there is sadness which is another emotion for me. The two are not the same for me. My grief is intense and I can’t control it, the sadness of her passing is profound and I can pivot from it. It was nine months yesterday she passed, yesterday was hard.
JoeF says
Posted on May 1, 2024 1
I see couples together all the time. I look at the guy and think: “You are a lucky dude. You are a very, very lucky dude.” I was that lucky dude eight months ago and did not appreciate it.
If the lady looks a little older, I think: “At least she does not have a hole drilled through her head.” That is from the trauma of the ICU experience my wife (and my daughter, son and me) went through. She had a port inserted into her brain to relieve pressure. Seeing her that way stills haunts me.
I stopped attending a mid-morning church service because I saw so many couples sitting close to each other, sometimes the husband with his arm around his wife. I actually cried seeing that and started attending an earlier, less attended, service to avoid those scenes.
I am not jealous of such couples. I am thrilled they have that love. Love between a couple is such a tremendous gift. I sure miss that.
– – –
Joe
Noemi G. says
Posted on May 1, 2024 2
When I see couples together, I smile and remember my time with my husband. I think to myself, I was one time, not too long ago, just like the couple the distant couple I noticed. It’s been six months since my husband suddenly and tragically crossed over; but I have fond memories which I can relate to being a couple. It’s not to say, I don’t miss my husband; but I know my new journey is to walk alone, survive and thrive to find my way in the world. I am very grateful to have precious memories of living as a loving couple. I feel fortunate and humble I was “loved” for many years by my husband, and didn’t miss out on living life as a happy couple.
Deborahb says
Posted on April 30, 2024 1
I was at a lunch with three couples the other day. One of the couples was newly engaged and had that aura of “new, exciting” love. It was very hard on me. I was very happy for them, and it made me yearn for the days when Ben and I were first together. As well as wishing that he was by my side.
JoyceBC says
Posted on April 30, 2024 2
When I see couples together, my hearts squeezes and hurts a little, and I am wistful. I miss John acutely at those moments. But I certainly don’t begrudge others their happiness.
SubibeC says
Posted on April 30, 2024 3
I saw a couple holding hands today as they were walking down the street and then yet kissed. It reminded me of when we used to hold hands as we walked down the street and my wife would pull on my hand and that meant she wanted a kiss. It was a little thing we did and we did it a lot and not just the early years, all the way to the end. Seeing couples reminds me, it does not make me jealous or upset, it makes me remember which makes me smile and makes me sad at the same time. There is grief, which is one emotion and there is sadness which is another emotion for me. The two are not the same for me. My grief is intense and I can’t control it, the sadness of her passing is profound and I can pivot from it. It was nine months yesterday she passed, yesterday was hard.