God decided to take my beautiful Kate and my 17 and 18 year olds mother away to himself 5 weeks ago tonight without warning while I was taking Jackson to youth worship. She was 60 years old but had the flair and spirit of a woman much younger. While realizing we are just in the preliminary stages of grief it is unimaginable that it can get worse.
While I realize there are millions of people who experience loss of thier spouse, right now it is hard to imagine anyone else having experienced such pain. I look forward to participating , at some point positively, with others that have experienced loss and maybe even someday encouraging others who are thrown into such a test of their faith and are experiencing the woven web of feelings and emotions.
LoriR-4 says
Posted on March 15, 2024 1
You nailed it! That is exactly what I was trying to write but couldn’t put into words: “Right now it is hard to imagine anyone else having experienced such pain”. That is why I joined the group. There are others like us….
Thank you for sharing.
JoeF says
Posted on March 13, 2024 1
I am sorry that you are now a member of this exclusive club of people none of whom want to be members of.
I am a bit past the six-month point of my journey. I have experienced, and am still experiencing, many different emotions. Yes, this hurts, there is no getting around that. I have found that I do not want to get around it. Ironically, I feel better if I just experience it and live it.
A few weeks ago, I finally decided that I do not want to be “fixed” (not like fixing a dog, although…). I heard so much of “if you’re angry, do this thing; if you’re feeling guilty, do this exercise”, on and on. If I was angry and did not want to, or could not remember what I was supposed to do, then I would feel angry for feeling angry. Or, I would feel guilty for feeling guilty because there was too much fixing.
Instead, I decided that whatever I am feeling, that is where I am and I am going to live in that spot until some other emotion comes up. Might be an hour, a day, whatever; I don’t care.
People around you can accept that you are living these periods or they will not. You can choose to associate with the people who will accept where you are and choose to distance from those who cannot handle your journey. The people who will be with you through your journey, and just be there, not try to fix you, will help you as you evolve.
Living this stuff is not easy but it is something that you will have to do. Good luck and I hope that you can find the support that you need.
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Joe
Unavailable says
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Heather E says
Posted on March 12, 2024 2
Welcome. I lost my husband of 30 years October 29th, 2023. I have never known such loneliness. Everyday seems like a dream with him never coming back. My children are grown and out of the house so I can’t imagine having to raise children as well. I am hoping to got to the widow camp in July in San Diego. I am hoping to meet others that I can connect with. To be honest, I have struggled trying to find someone I can talk to that gets it. May you find some comfort in the days that come. I would be happy to listen if you are wanting to talk.
MikeF says
Posted on March 12, 2024 1
Please feel free to contact me at anytime. I am only 5 weeks into this and agree that although there is lots of “support.” it seems that no one get it. The celebration of life is over and the relatives have all left town. It is lonely. a relative has given my son the opportunity to spend two months this summer living in Hawaii with them and be able to surf everyday.. A dream for him, an escape doing what he loves and absolutely best but a further curse for me as there is one more empty bed in the home.
Kate and I had a regular date at 6:00 am to have our coffee and discuss the upcoming day, discuss the daily devotional and many times just sit there and enjoy the sun rising without words being necessary. That is gone and generally having not lost it themselves people don’t understand what has been taken.
Feel free to talk/write.